Fucked Again

I never thought I’d ever say this, but thank you. Thank you. Thank you George W. Bush.

Bear with me for a minute.

Close your eyes and pretend it’s November 2002. Ok, don’t actually close your eyes, because then you can’t read this.

So squint a little bit with me, and think all the way back to November 2002.

The country has a 911 degree fever. President Bush is riding a huge wave of popularity and can do no wrong. The Republicans take the Senate and make gains in the House by campaigning on national security and the importance of bombing the shit out of every country in the middle east, even if they had nothing to do with 9/11, just because we’re pissed.

In Georgia, Republican draft dodger Saxby Chambliss defeats Democratic Senator Max Cleland, a Vietnam War hero and triple amputee, by a 53-46 margin. In the run-up to the election, Chambliss publicly questions Cleland’s patriotism, and Chambliss’s campaign even airs tv ads featuring Cleland’s picture next to Osama Bin Laden’s and Saddam Hussein’s.

We Democrats appear to be royally fucked. America is a terrified nation, and the Republicans have convinced the majority of us that they are the only ones who can keep the country safe from Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein (The majority of the country also believes those two men are somehow connected).

It feels like we Democrats may be in the permanent minority.

Now imagine, just imagine, if someone came up to you then and said, “Hey, guess what? The next president of the United States is going to be an African-American, liberal, first-term, inexperienced Senator from Illinois, who has an African-American preacher who once exclaimed “Goddamn America!” and holds the United States partially responsible for 9/11. The next president also has loose ties to a guy who once bombed the Pentagon. Oh, and the next president’s name is Barack Hussein Obama. That’s right. It sounds like ‘Iraq Hussein Osama.’ And of course the Republicans are gonna play that up. But seriously, the guy’s gonna be our next president.”

What would you have said in response?

I know what I would have said: “What the fuck are you smoking, man? That has got to be the most ridiculous, most unlikely scenario I’ve ever heard. If that story is true, I will give you all the money in the world and then some. I will give you my first born child. I will be your servant for life. I will…”

You get the picture.

Of course, our next president is Barack Obama. And he did run an excellent, inspiring campaign. But one of the main people we have to thank for the Obama presidency is George W. Bush.

Our First Retarded President

No president has ever fucked up as much as he has. No president has ever squandered as much good will. No president has ever fallen so far. No president has gone from a 90 percent approval rating to a 20 percent approval rating. No president has ever, ever, ever been as criminal, as vile, as filthy, rotten and wretched as Bush. And yet, I gotta thank him for one thing, and really just one thing: the amazing opportunity we have in President Barack Obama.

President Obama represents an utter repudiation of the last 8 years of Bush hell. I guess our country had to really hit rock bottom before we could allow ourselves to shine.

So please President Obama, no pressure or anything, but uh, just don’t fuck this up.
Reprint from: http://www.theseminal.com